Crystal, Author at Firefly Horizons Under Hummingbird Skies

How the Past Birthed my Current Life

May 10, 2020 By Crystal Leave a Comment

Honoris causa matris meae
~Latin For~
Honoring My Mother

Happy Mother’s Day to my Mother, Nona May, Born 1921 – Died 1999.

(Listen to Crystal Narrate her Blog 5:30)

Is it possible to honor my mother today on Mother’s Day, 2020 while continuing to reveal my experiences of being birthed, cherished, emotionally abandoned, protected, abused verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically by a woman who exhibited symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder throughout my childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, and midlife? Can love and protection, abandonment, and abuse exist together in the same frame as my mother’s body, soul, and spirit?

There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present

March 15, 2020 By Crystal Leave a Comment

non est ita nisi ut maneat
~Latin For~
There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present

The Sequel

The Power of Staying
In and With
The Conversation

(Listen to Crystal narrate her poem. 6:11)

Last year in response to our regional flooding, I wrote a poem titled, There is No Way Except the Way.

This blog is The Sequel to the poetic series, There is No Way, prompted and provoked by the foreboding visitation of Coronavirus on our planet.

Unfolding Narrative

December 15, 2019 By Crystal Leave a Comment

Opus Interiorem
– Latin For –
Inner Work

(Hear Crystal’s Audio File for this Blog 4:21)

Inner Work…though it is a deeply personal matter, it is not necessarily a private matter: inner work can be helped along in community. Indeed, doing inner work together is a vital counterpoint to doing it alone. Left to our own devices, we may delude ourselves in ways that others can help correct. But how a community offers such help is a critical question. We are surrounded by communities based on the practice of “setting each other straight” – an ultimately totalitarian practice bound to drive the shy soul into hiding.

~Parker Palmer

My Unfolding Narrative

Our family story hinges on the principle from Genesis 50:20. “Even though the enemy planned evil against us, God planned good to come of it.”

The Origin and Consequence of Soul Erosion

September 1, 2019 By Crystal 2 Comments

(Hear Crystal’s Audio File for this Blog. 12:39)

Secreta Secretorum
~Latin For~
Secret of Secrets

Iterative Consequences

Our family lineage has been progressively and compulsively disintegrating in the wake of my grandfather’s actions. Many in our family tree have immersed themselves in drugs and alcohol to numb the pain that resides as a latent malignancy. The cycle of suffering has manifested itself consciously and unconsciously. Like radioactive waste, the fallout scattered throughout our family tree. After my sister, Kitty’s death in 2009, her two adult sons, (Shawn and Chad) committed suicide due to the consequential effects of their drug habits inherited from their mother.

The Journey Home

April 1, 2019 By Crystal Leave a Comment

(Hear Crystals Audio File for this blog 9:08)

Viae Errantia

~ Latin For ~

Wandering Roads

Generation of Awakening

Wandering roads manifest in a multitude of form; literally and metaphorically. My wanderlust is rooted in understanding the mystery that is ever before me which proliferated my Seeker’s avidity. Paradoxically, I have come to accept that great questions are an introduction to doubt. “Learning to live with ambiguity is learning to live with how life really is, full of complexities and strange surprises..” (James Hollis). Thus, my odyssey is an inward journey. The warp and woof of my life are pathways woven by a cogent, circuitous-grid providing many access points to my soul. This grid-like passageway positions me with various perspectives to understand more deeply the meaning I forage.

When I began writing my family story over ten years ago, I wrote these words:

There is ~ No Way ~ Except the Way

March 18, 2019 By Crystal 6 Comments

This morning I awakened with the sunlight beaming through our window, I immediately became aware of everyone who is suffering.
In our area of Nebraska, the flood waters are impinging into personal lives with a fury. It will be the end of a particular way of life for those who have been devastated by the raging and destructive waters. The earth is groaning through its convulsive land shifts as levees burst under pressure and the rain representing how the sky is weeping in deep sorrow for all of the suffering in our area and our world at large.

Then, more personally there are those who are undergoing hidden distress in a way that is not obvious to others. My sister-in-law is grieving the unforeseen loss of her grandson, the young man she raised for 18 years. Another, a confidante, who has been impacted by injustice through the legal system. Another, business connection which has been patiently nursing her husband back to health for several years. The suffering is relentless, and no one is immune. I could continue with “another and another,” as I am a mental health therapist by vocation and an empath by design. I bear with those who are suffering. As I consider the suffering, a spontaneous poem emerged this morning, and I want to share it with you:

(Listen to Crystal narrate her poem. 1:28)

Crystal

About Crystal

Honoris causa matris meae~Latin For~ Honoring My Mother

non est ita nisi ut maneat~Latin For~ There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present