Crystal, Author at Firefly Horizons Under Hummingbird Skies

Quelling the Cacaphony of Compelling Charismatic and Narcissistic Voices

July 5, 2021 By Crystal 2 Comments

The Image of Love

Sequel to My Father’s Story and Mine

_{quod imago autem amor}
_{~LATIN FOR~}
_{The Image of Love}

(Listen to Crystal Narrate her Blog 8:16)

Imago is the Latin word meaning image, and refers to the “unconscious image of familiar love.” We are drawn to choose a particular life partner based upon a familiar composite of our childhood caretakers and influencers.

In my last blog entry, I shared that the power of my dad’s love saved me from being ruined by unsafe men. As a young woman, I was attracted to a particular typology of a man based upon the relationship I experienced with two larger-than-life uncles and two magnetically fetching brothers. Although a nuanced and circuitous narrative, I invite you to stay with me as I weave how the subtle voice of my gentle-spirited father proved to be more powerfully saving than the cacophony of compelling charismatic and bewitching narcissistic voices that once beguiled me.

My Father’s Story and Mine

June 18, 2021 By Crystal Leave a Comment

The Visible Inheritance of Love

_{honoris causa in patrem
~LATIN FOR~
Honoring My Father}

Happy Father’s Day to my Father, Peta Paul: Born 1921 – Died 1993

(Listen to Crystal Narrate her Blog 7:53)

Watch The Video Tribute “My Father’s Story & Mine”

My dad, Peta Paul, was a second-generation immigrant from Jugoslavia (as spelled on the Certificate of Naturalization) and His father, Jajo Pavicich made a courageous choice for the family that was entirely a stage of conception in the young mind of this single man, whose love of life, was Josepha Pavelich. What did my paternal grandfather perceive about the unrest in his motherland in the early 1900s that would create a catapulting commencement to embark upon a vast ocean voyage across the Atlantic to a new country? Once at Ellis Island, his path and destination, determined by the forged tracks of the first continental railroad, he settled in a place once called River’s Edge, now Council Bluffs.

How the Past Birthed my Current Life

May 10, 2020 By Crystal Leave a Comment

Honoris causa matris meae
~Latin For~
Honoring My Mother

Happy Mother’s Day to my Mother, Nona May, Born 1921 – Died 1999.

(Listen to Crystal Narrate her Blog 5:30)

Is it possible to honor my mother today on Mother’s Day, 2020 while continuing to reveal my experiences of being birthed, cherished, emotionally abandoned, protected, abused verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically by a woman who exhibited symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder throughout my childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, and midlife? Can love and protection, abandonment, and abuse exist together in the same frame as my mother’s body, soul, and spirit?

There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present

March 15, 2020 By Crystal Leave a Comment

non est ita nisi ut maneat
~Latin For~
There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present

The Sequel

The Power of Staying
In and With
The Conversation

(Listen to Crystal narrate her poem. 6:11)

Last year in response to our regional flooding, I wrote a poem titled, There is No Way Except the Way.

This blog is The Sequel to the poetic series, There is No Way, prompted and provoked by the foreboding visitation of Coronavirus on our planet.

Unfolding Narrative

December 15, 2019 By Crystal Leave a Comment

Opus Interiorem
– Latin For –
Inner Work

(Hear Crystal’s Audio File for this Blog 4:21)

Inner Work…though it is a deeply personal matter, it is not necessarily a private matter: inner work can be helped along in community. Indeed, doing inner work together is a vital counterpoint to doing it alone. Left to our own devices, we may delude ourselves in ways that others can help correct. But how a community offers such help is a critical question. We are surrounded by communities based on the practice of “setting each other straight” – an ultimately totalitarian practice bound to drive the shy soul into hiding.

~Parker Palmer

My Unfolding Narrative

Our family story hinges on the principle from Genesis 50:20. “Even though the enemy planned evil against us, God planned good to come of it.”

The Origin and Consequence of Soul Erosion

September 1, 2019 By Crystal 2 Comments

(Hear Crystal’s Audio File for this Blog. 12:39)

Secreta Secretorum
~Latin For~
Secret of Secrets

Iterative Consequences

Our family lineage has been progressively and compulsively disintegrating in the wake of my grandfather’s actions. Many in our family tree have immersed themselves in drugs and alcohol to numb the pain that resides as a latent malignancy. The cycle of suffering has manifested itself consciously and unconsciously. Like radioactive waste, the fallout scattered throughout our family tree. After my sister, Kitty’s death in 2009, her two adult sons, (Shawn and Chad) committed suicide due to the consequential effects of their drug habits inherited from their mother.

Crystal

About Crystal

The Image of Love

Sequel to My Father’s Story and Mine

Honoris causa matris meae~Latin For~ Honoring My Mother

non est ita nisi ut maneat~Latin For~ There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present