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My Father’s Story and Mine

June 18, 2021 By Crystal Leave a Comment

The Visible Inheritance of Love

_{honoris causa in patrem
~LATIN FOR~
Honoring My Father}

Happy Father’s Day to my Father, Peta Paul: Born 1921 – Died 1993

(Listen to Crystal Narrate her Blog 7:53)

Watch The Video Tribute “My Father’s Story & Mine”

My dad, Peta Paul, was a second-generation immigrant from Jugoslavia (as spelled on the Certificate of Naturalization) and His father, Jajo Pavicich made a courageous choice for the family that was entirely a stage of conception in the young mind of this single man, whose love of life, was Josepha Pavelich. What did my paternal grandfather perceive about the unrest in his motherland in the early 1900s that would create a catapulting commencement to embark upon a vast ocean voyage across the Atlantic to a new country? Once at Ellis Island, his path and destination, determined by the forged tracks of the first continental railroad, he settled in a place once called River’s Edge, now Council Bluffs.

How the Past Birthed my Current Life

May 10, 2020 By Crystal Leave a Comment

Honoris causa matris meae
~Latin For~
Honoring My Mother

Happy Mother’s Day to my Mother, Nona May, Born 1921 – Died 1999.

(Listen to Crystal Narrate her Blog 5:30)

Is it possible to honor my mother today on Mother’s Day, 2020 while continuing to reveal my experiences of being birthed, cherished, emotionally abandoned, protected, abused verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically by a woman who exhibited symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder throughout my childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, and midlife? Can love and protection, abandonment, and abuse exist together in the same frame as my mother’s body, soul, and spirit?

There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present

March 15, 2020 By Crystal Leave a Comment

non est ita nisi ut maneat
~Latin For~
There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present

The Sequel

The Power of Staying
In and With
The Conversation

(Listen to Crystal narrate her poem. 6:11)

Last year in response to our regional flooding, I wrote a poem titled, There is No Way Except the Way.

This blog is The Sequel to the poetic series, There is No Way, prompted and provoked by the foreboding visitation of Coronavirus on our planet.

Unfolding Narrative

December 15, 2019 By Crystal Leave a Comment

Opus Interiorem
– Latin For –
Inner Work

(Hear Crystal’s Audio File for this Blog 4:21)

Inner Work…though it is a deeply personal matter, it is not necessarily a private matter: inner work can be helped along in community. Indeed, doing inner work together is a vital counterpoint to doing it alone. Left to our own devices, we may delude ourselves in ways that others can help correct. But how a community offers such help is a critical question. We are surrounded by communities based on the practice of “setting each other straight” – an ultimately totalitarian practice bound to drive the shy soul into hiding.

~Parker Palmer

My Unfolding Narrative

Our family story hinges on the principle from Genesis 50:20. “Even though the enemy planned evil against us, God planned good to come of it.”

The Fractured Mind

December 15, 2019 By Steve 3 Comments

(Hear Steve’s Audio file for this Blog 7:07)

“I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect.”
— Jiddu Krishnamurti

Knowledge is spectrum and if you can accept that, then truth is spectrum. Those who love wisdom accept this, while those who love orthodoxy cannot. Borrowing loosely from Clare Graves’ “Spiral Dynamics,” all things build upon themselves. For example, when the molecule was discovered it was a truth, but when the atom that made up the molecule was discovered, it did not make the molecule an untruth. Imagine if those that followed the truth of molecules wanted to censor the discovery of the atom? We would hold an astonishment to the profanity of their fervor!

The Origin and Consequence of Soul Erosion

September 1, 2019 By Crystal 2 Comments

(Hear Crystal’s Audio File for this Blog. 12:39)

Secreta Secretorum
~Latin For~
Secret of Secrets

Iterative Consequences

Our family lineage has been progressively and compulsively disintegrating in the wake of my grandfather’s actions. Many in our family tree have immersed themselves in drugs and alcohol to numb the pain that resides as a latent malignancy. The cycle of suffering has manifested itself consciously and unconsciously. Like radioactive waste, the fallout scattered throughout our family tree. After my sister, Kitty’s death in 2009, her two adult sons, (Shawn and Chad) committed suicide due to the consequential effects of their drug habits inherited from their mother.

A Meta -“Bawl”- ick Journey

August 25, 2019 By Joni Flores 1 Comment

The Red-Headed Firefly Shares Excerpts of Her Personal Story and Metabolic Weight Loss Journal

Table for One, Alone in my Thoughts

August 21, 2019

Gary lost 56 pounds! Lisa lost 15 inches! Sue lost 30 pounds and 12 inches! Would I become one of the next poster children for Metabolic Research Center (MRC)? I had my doubts, but I also had an inkling of hope as I entered the door under the bright, lime green Welcome sign. The room was smaller than I had expected and there was a slight mustiness to the air. Always one to find a rationale behind something which has brought disappointment, “Well, it has been raining quite a bit”I thought.

I assumed the “coach” would be young and slim – after all, I didn’t want to dole out cash, check or credit card for a diet program with an instructor who looked worse than what I hope will be my “before” picture. I haven’t allowed a picture yet, by the way, but I know that is coming with my next visit. I was right about the coach, probably late 20-something, pretty, fit as a fiddle and FULL of energy.

Steven in the Wild

May 4, 2019 By Steve 2 Comments

The Reunion of Body and Mind

(Hear Steve’s Audio file for this Blog 8:09)

“It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” – Atticus Finch “To Kill a Mockingbird”

I can now add activity to my words as I step out into the sunlight and fresh air. My bicycle awaits me with the eagerness of a lover anticipating her soulmates return. Here I reunite the free mind and captive body through consolidated renewal. The wind is back in my hair.

As I reflect on these past days, I realize how quickly life engulfed me as my beloveds whisked me away to a celebration of the fatted calf… in this case, Midwestern beef. It now feels strangely like a dream, as if I was never there, but I was. Denied the opportunity for a shower and wearing the clothes from the day I entered the gated community, I was nevertheless embraced by my escorts on 25 April, my birthday… a poetic irony, perhaps more so, poetic justice… for while the judge and my ex-spouse intended to retain me, I received my early release from an unanticipated authority in this drama. The first of May held no vigil for me.

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Honoris causa matris meae~Latin For~ Honoring My Mother

non est ita nisi ut maneat~Latin For~ There is No Way ~ Except to Stay ~ Present